1. |
Absolved
04:58
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One not find it here, the solution clear, constitution, breaking resolution
Such a cynical game, war fought for fortune or fame, defenestration, time for resignation
April, the cruelest month, broken images in dust, clairvoyance, couldn’t have foretold us
Sensibility destroyed, whispers employed, cold metaphysics, warm between dry ribs
This bitterness of heart
Of all feeling you lack
This bitterness of soul
No longer to extol, Has left us dead
The bitterness of mind
Of immoral kind, hanging by a thread
This salted earth, malignant birth, fire creeping out the cracks
I’m no longer here, mortal plane severe, severs onward, coils unwrap and falter
Engulfed in the drought of days, wasteland unfazed, king turns his back on, arid fields that haunt us
Thunder without rain, its voice cries out in pain, what words it said, left misheard or misread
Cryptic messages unfurl, and the gyre whirls, center breaking, God’s left foresaken
Well I’m no reluctant corpse, I thought I was better than that
Avoid the middle course, no hell truer to point at
Now that I’ve become nothing, I can’t help but laugh
And now that I know nothing, gives way to oil, tar, now ash
And here it comes
Absolved
by the saints of the world
Stretched taut, Arrows flung, unyielded the ghost
give in, forced out, inversions of shame
absolve, absolved, for sins in our name
absolve, absolved, we brandish it all
Absolved
By the length of a life
Unlived, unloved, time frozen in strife
Read the lines, dread the words, the escape is to die
Absolve, Absolved, not alive not deceased
Absolve, Absolved, mass has ended go in peace
Absolved
Absolved
Absolved
Absolved
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2. |
Chimneys
07:39
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Now it’s dark
They stand as two chimneys, billowing into the stifling expanse
The fire in their bellies reduced to ash
Now it’s quiet
Cold air pressing in
Nothing is said, but something is felt
A creeping apprehension, and a deepening doubt
I want out right now
Yeah, I want out right now
I hate to see you go
But I, I want out right now
Now it’s still
They shiver but not from the chill, no no no
With eyes yet unmet, they wait with bated breath
For the moment soon arriving, and by god is it exciting
Hold on, I think I can hear it, I think I can feel it coming on, no no no
Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes, here it comes
I want out right now
Yeah, I want out right now
I hate to see you go
But I, I want out right now
Hold on, hold on
I wasn’t done talking yet
Look me in the eyes
Well I’m chaos walking
Do you know it too?
This fear that I’ve captured
Is it the verge of desolation or the brink of rapture?
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3. |
Byzantine Camshaft
02:54
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In time
The sun will rise at night
The sky
Will be all white
Our skin
It will ignite
In time, in time
You bear the brunt of it
I’ll make the most of it
You’ll bear the cost of it
I’ll make the most from it
(Well I didn’t know)
Well it’s
(It’s just a little bit)
Too much to ask
And it’s
(It’s just a little bit)
Out of my grasp
Your head’s
(It’s just a little bit)
Far up your ass
And it’s
(It’s just a little bit)
Far gone this time
It’s just like a Byzantine Camshaft
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4. |
Sorry Not Funny
07:29
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Here
Here’s what I see
None of you interest me
You inspire apathy
Late
Lately I’ve thought
How much I bite my tongue
Keep words from anyone
It’s
It’s not just the state
That I find myself in
Revolving door of emotion
Trust
Trust is not kept
When keeping to yourself
When in fear of everyone else
He walks into a basement clutching at his hands, his face, pulling at clothing, tearing of nails, of skin
Eyes unable to direct, bouncing around the room like a cue ball, the give and pull of his malaise
His favorite activities, solitude, disappointing others, and thinking of how he is so broadly schemed against
In-between ritual self-abuse, drinking alone, and pondering heroes he will never amount to be
I’ve been dragged out again
With the best of intentions
Doesn’t matter very much when it feels all the same
Have you tried sleeping?
Have you lived in your dreams?
Have you ever wept at the thought of turning back?
Not a fan of attention
No need for such applause
Shrill sounds or cackling laughs
What a funny joke
What a cunning scheme
That you all have played on me
I
I have no
Such illusions now
I’m just merely counting down
Until
Until it seems
Damage will be minimal
In the absence of variables
I’d hate
To make you wait
I’m preparing as I speak
You’re in for a real treat
A laugh
Cuts through the dark
It’s time for the final act
I implore you all to clap
He walks into a basement, ears drowning in voices, his agitation more palpable than the rest
Amongst such a eccentric crowd, he spies, the punks, the snakes, the craven, and the meek
Introduced to a varied cast of characters, he never seems to remember any of them
He was never such a sucker for continuity, or at least he cannot be considering what is next
When they pull me down
Rope no longer taut
I wonder what expression we will both receive
That eternal grimace
Claw marks on both cheeks
Of little consequence at that point to me
Now here’s the punchline
Bet you’ll guess what it may be
Always hit ‘em with that slapstick comedy
What a funny joke
It’ll truly be
When you find me affixed to the ceiling
It was these hands, these hands
The same hands playing this song
These hands, they cling for life
Under a chair, felt in absence of
You can stop laughing now
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5. |
Magnanimous Man
05:02
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Magnanimous man on the corner
His shirt is flower embroidered
And oh his thoughts how they loiter
His head lolls putting them in order
I wish you well but you can only help yourself
It’s a shame that you think life is better unfelt
It’s those weary eyes and those shuffling feet
Is this what you want?
They say that nothing bothers him
So of course he’s bothered all the time
How can one be so haughty yet sullen
The head melts the soul in its jet fuel oven
I wish you well but you can only help yourself
It’s a shame that you think life is better unfelt
It’s those weary eyes and those shuffling feet
It’s all downhill now
Look at me now oh well
I’m turning cold somehow
Don’t you know it’s true
If you choose you lose
There’s you
With the devil and the deep sea
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6. |
Vitamin Song
05:19
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Day breaks, vitamins in
I wake
Vitamin B12
6:30 AM
Vitamin C
7:00 AM
Combing hair and brushing teeth
7:30 AM
Drive to work, 55 the whole way, no more no less
Mutter under my breath
“What a world”
Vitamins keep us alive
I’m in need of a push
Vitamins in
It’ll work out fine
I’ll just need to start
breathing in
this goddamned oxygen
No longer human you’ll see
Peer into my
cold gray eyes
The vitamins controlling me
doing their best,
at least for a while
Day breaks, vitamins in
Looming over me
Vitamin D
6:30 AM
Clean the gashes all over my skin
7:00 AM
Vitamins B1 through 9
7:30 AM
Car stalls, left screaming, my temperament maligned
So full of contempt
For myself, surroundings, whomever is left
I’m in need of a push
One small step
To leave myself resigned
I’ll just need to stop
breathing in
this goddamned oxygen
It’s not living you’ll see
But what else?
Because it sure ain’t dying
It’s just one of those days
One of those months
Embrace the decline
God blessed your struggle
Tears rolling down your cheeks
Illuminated to an audience of thousands
Your sadness made you pure
It made you feel righteous
It made all that pain worthwhile
My struggle made me wicked
It made me the worst man that I’ll ever know
I’ve scorned all those still foolish enough to heed my wretched voice
God had no such charms for me
Only the virtues of cowardice, bitterness, malevolence, amongst a dozen other certain evils
My frustrations built a cage up and around my soul
And the key dangling over me all of this time
Is to trample on others like you
But this is all an astounding fiction, This is not my blood splattered against the bathroom wall, nor shower, nor tile floor, nor whatever’s left, that simply was but is no longer me
I’m a moral litmus test
I’m beyond normal
Because these are only the thoughts I entertain, the thoughts of the normal
No passion
No words
No future or past
I can’t talk my way out of this one
I have no recourse for that
I’ll end today’s session with a few more parting words
What’s a man to do when regret and unkindness is your life’s only work?
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7. |
Matt's Song 3
04:27
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There’s always something that hits too close to home
Another disembodied hand peeling you off your bed
Fingers hooked around your neck
It can’t hurt you but I know what can
Ghostly figures, speak their truth, horrors, you are, subject to, fading, floating, burning, wailing, out the window, see them trailing
Such fervor, it takes, hold of me, chains that rattle, never sleep, in silence, calling, screaming, howling, lives unending, hear the shouting
It’s a shame you’re so uneasy, because the repulsion, it completes me
No words would ever take my breath, table silence commence
Those words can’t describe me, looking for something a bit more uncanny
I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead, better unheard than misread
There’s always something that hits too close to home
Another disembodied voice threatening to beat your ass
And I can laugh at that
Especially given I’d do the same if asked
Static, overwhelms my view, colors, creep in, dullened hues, lurking, crawling, gripping, baiting, for my slip-up they’re awaiting
Voices, that don’t answer me, sharpened words, mental debris, falling, speeding, begging, pleading, the end of senses is proceeding
You should know before you go, I am nothing but a ghoul, I am inside your walls too
You should hear before you’re scared, the Hodag or Sasquatch am I, or other creatures that mystify
You might find rather unkind, my teeth sink into you like veal, I’m a vampire lest I conceal
You just wait before the date, I find a much more powerful form, I am stress and I am storm
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8. |
Dream Drinker
04:08
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I don’t deal in exaltation
I just felt an expectation
I don’t deal in exaltation
I just felt an obligation
Yesterday I saw a thinker
A bonafide dream drinker
He paused his speech to consider
And let his words linger
This ain’t some corporeal crooner
Hell I bet he’d sooner
Get a full mouth suture
Than be some bad habit moocher
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9. |
Roswell
04:27
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My head turns into frame
Lights flash over the lane
Half a blink it’s gone away
My eyes widen just the same
I don’t know
What I saw
Your sigh, your smile
There’s nothing wrong
All’s well ends well
Oh Well
Full moon is out tonight
The field is bathed in white
I beheld an eerie sight
Pale figures in moonlight
I don’t know
What I saw
Something’s off
After all
All’s well ends well
Oh Well
Crop circles
Hanging around
Crop circles
That I have found
Everything is as it seems
Still you hold me in your beam
There remains that spectral theme
I still hear it in my dreams
I don’t know
What I saw
Still it holds me
In thrall
All’s well ends well
Oh Well
The body still holds shape
Despite the soul’s escape
Through your mouth agape
Up to that astral shape
I think I know
What I saw
Can I still know you?
After it all
All’s well ends well
Oh Well
We’ve met before on another star
Go ahead and abduct me again
Hold me up over thin air
It’ll end again with that alien stare
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